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Encouragement

Encouragement can be another word for hope, belief, even for love. When used by different people in our lives it can be one, all, or more than these words. Depending on circumstances, this simple word, put into action, can make the difference to the extent of changing or saving a life. How easy it is to get caught in a downward spiral which without a lifeline can drag us deeper into unhealthy situations. Domestic violence leaves its impact on generations of families, from believing that this is normal, to thinking perhaps we deserved the reaction, the violent consequence.

A lifeline, positive encouragement of self, can stall or prevent the insidious slide into that dark place of thinking there is no other option in unhealthy relationships. Encouragement in the worth and value of self, in education and discovery of loving oneself and understanding love of others, an unconditional love, and the building up of hope, plants a seed. It starts with being present in body or spirit, listening and providing encouragement in a language that can be received and understood. There may be others that cultivate and nurture this seed, or it may be one steady voice of encouragement, either way it shines a light and a path out of the darkness.

May you find the light and be the light of encouragement.

By Evita Krislock

Episcopal Church Women2020-05-20T14:23:38+00:00December 27th, 2015|

Words Matter

Here, as Advent draws to a close, is a reflection about Mary the mother of Jesus. Written by the Rev. Lindsay Hardin Freeman, it’s adapted from her book, “Bible Women: All Their Words and Why They Matter.”

MARY: WHAT’S SHE DONE FOR YOU LATELY?

For the better part of forty years, Mary didn’t do anything for me. And that sounds like something a loser would say: “Hey, Mary didn’t do anything for me…”

Except, of course, she did something that no one has ever done; something that no one else will ever do. She gave birth to Jesus, the Prince of Peace, the Redeemer. Surely that ranks pretty high on one’s resume.

Yep. Of course, I knew that over the years. But I couldn’t relate to was the ever-so-meek and mild, complacent, virginal, pleasant, and practically perfect aura which has surrounded her for so many centuries…until I studied every word she said that is recorded in the Bible (see words below), and until I became a mother myself.

Her gift to the human race can best be summarized with one word: Yes. And it wasn’t a momentary “Yes”— it was a yes that would last her a lifetime, with all the pain and agony and joy that love brings.

HER STORY:

When Gabriel approached Mary, he tells her, “Hail, O favored one, the Lord is with you!” Her unspoken response (and this is as important as any spoken response): But she was greatly troubled at the saying, and considered in her mind what sort of greeting this might be. (Luke 1:28–29)

She’s a smart girl. Most people do not wish to be high on the radar of say, cosmic forces, oncologists or fire departments. Mary knows that she was on God’s radar. Of course she was troubled. Of course she considered in her mind what sort of greeting “this might be.”

She knew the scriptures: how the Angel of Death went through King Sennacherib’s camp, causing 185,000 Assyrian soldiers to die (2 Kings 19:35); how Jacob fought with an angel and was disabled (Genesis 32:24–30); how an angel had issued a call to war by causing a fire to spring up in front of Gideon (Judges 6:11–21).

Hard not to be afraid, especially because she was only betrothed to be married, not yet married—and punishment for adultery was stoning. Neither Joseph nor her parents would understand—and yet somehow, she found the strength and faith to tell Gabriel, “Let it be to me according to your word.”

After her visit (which seems like more of an escape, away from prying eyes and ears) to Elizabeth, and after the birth of Jesus in a stable because the young couple could not find shelter in Jerusalem, she is visited by shepherds and wise men alike. Luke says, “Mary treasured all these words and pondered them in her heart.”

That phrase would again be used by Luke when Mary and Joseph lost track of Jesus on their caravan (many families traveling together) home from Jerusalem. Unbeknownst to them, he had stayed behind to teach in the temple. When, after three days, they finally located him, Mary was beside herself. “Why have you treated us like this? We have been in great anxiety!”

And although Mary did not understand her son, Luke says, again, that she “treasured these things in her heart.”

About eighteen years later, Mary is at a wedding with Jesus at Cana in Galilee, and the host runs out of wine, a terribly embarrassing problem for first-century hosts, whose celebrations would last for days. In classic mother style, she volunteers Jesus to fix the problem. Bringing him to the servants, she says, “Do whatever he tells you.”

Jesus, in classic grown son style, refuses, saying, “My time has not yet come!” But he does what his mother tells him to do…and all are happy. Perhaps she had seen him practice miracles around the house; she knew it was his time. Clearly, the fruit of “pondering things” in her heart was taking shape.

Such mother-privilege, however, did not seem to count when Jesus refused to see her when he was busy healing people, saying, “all who believe” were his family members. Again, probable consternation.

Finally, the day came that must have been the hardest day of all: Jesus’ death, at which she stood and watched the life drain from her beloved boy. How does one come to terms with that? How did Mary? We don’t know, except to know that Jesus “gave” her to John, one of the sons of Zebedeed (many scholars believe John was her nephew), following the crucifixion.

CONSIDER THIS

Mary could have refused Gabriel’s request; she could have said no to Gabriel. God would not have demanded she bear his son—after all, God is the primary believer in free will and designed this world to have it. What might have happened had she said no, or run away? I believe it is fair to say that Jesus–at least the Jesus we know–would not have been born. God would not have gone down the block, looking for another mother.

Here’s the point: God invited Mary into a radical life-transforming experience. She agreed, and opened herself to a life of love, self-sacrifice and divine intervention in world affairs. And as a result, the world will never be the same—and neither will we.

By saying yes, she didn’t know all the details that would come her way. She knew she would bear God’s son. By saying yes, she was in–in for all the joy and pain that love can bring.

What has Mary done for me lately? She’s shown me the way of love. I hope she does the same for you.

________________________

WHAT DID MARY SAY?

Mary said to the angel, “How can this be, since I am a virgin?” (Luke 1:34)

Then Mary said, “Here am I, the servant of the Lord; let it be with me according to your word.” (Luke 1:38)

And Mary said, “My soul magnifies the Lord, and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior, for he has looked with favor on the lowliness of his servant. Surely, from now on all generations will call me blessed; for the Mighty One has done great things for me, and holy is his name. His mercy is for those who fear him from generation to generation. He has shown strength with his arm; he has scattered the proud in the thoughts of their hearts. He has brought down the powerful from their thrones, and lifted up the lowly; he has filled the hungry with good things, and sent the rich away empty. He has helped his servant Israel, in remembrance of his mercy, according to the promise he made to our ancestors, to Abraham and to his descendants forever.” (Luke 1:46–55)

When his parents saw him they were astonished; and his mother said to him, “Child, why have you treated us like this? Look, your father and I have been searching for you in great anxiety.” (Luke 2:48)

When the wine gave out, the mother of Jesus said to him, “They have no wine.” (John 2:3)

His mother said to the servants, “Do whatever he tells you.” (John 2:5)

FOR REFLECTION

How much do you think Mary understood about Jesus’ life when he was a baby? A boy? A man?

Out of the millions of souls on earth, why do you think God chose Mary to be Jesus’ mother? Was it that the time was right? Was it that she was right?

If an angel came to you from God, how easily would you believe whatever s/he said?

What emotions might you have struggled with if you had been in Mary’s place? Fear? Pride? Love? Desire?

Do you know anyone whose inner strength seems unshakable? How do they approach life?

________

Copy above adapted from Bible Women: All Their Words and Why They Matter. Published in 2014 by Forward Movement.

Artwork: Painted by Karen N. Canton, From The Scarlet Cord: Conversations with God’s Chosen Women, published 2010 by John Hunt Publishing

Episcopal Church Women2020-05-20T13:32:19+00:00December 21st, 2015|

Persistence

Then Jesus told his disciples a parable to show them that they should always pray and not give up. He said: “In a certain town there was a judge who neither feared God nor cared what people thought. And there was a widow in that town who kept coming to him with the plea, ‘Grant me justice against my adversary.’

“For some time he refused. But finally he said to himself, ‘Even though I don’t fear God or care what people think, yet because this widow keeps bothering me, I will see that she gets justice, so that she won’t eventually come and attack me!’

“And the Lord said, ‘Listen to what the unjust judge says. And will not God bring about justice for his chosen ones, who cry out to him day and night? Will he keep putting them off? I tell you, he will see that they get justice, and quickly. However, when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on the earth?’” Luke 18:1-8 (NIV)

Some see persistence such as that demonstrated by the widow as presumptuous and rude. But look again: Jesus used an example of an unjust judge as a contrast with God who is just. God can be trusted to be a just God – to make right decisions. The Bible and our faith tradition encourage us to draw near to God. Persistent pursuit of God means that we should, at all times, even in the worst of times – especially in the worst of times! – seek an ever personal relationship with God. Only he can bring about justice in a corrupt world. Jesus understood this. This is why, even in the midst of a hectic life, when friends and strangers alike clamored for his attention, he stopped to talk to God. Even as violence was perpetrated against him he remained persistent in seeking the strength of the Father. Jesus himself understood he could do nothing on his own.

Keep the faith, even when others use you and hurt you. Be persistent in efforts to right wrongs and to seek God’s guidance. Remember the words of the psalmist:

“Rest in the LORD and wait patiently for Him; do not fret when people succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes… “…Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret — it leads only to evil. “For those who are evil will be destroyed, but those who hope in the Lord will inherit the land.”

By Lisa Towle

Episcopal Church Women2020-05-20T13:36:17+00:00December 9th, 2015|

Civility

Webster’s dictionary describes civility as polite, reasonable, and respectful behavior. Sometimes in our daily lives we lose track of what it means to be nice. We forget how a simple “please” and “thank-you” can make a request more palatable. We value our time and our needs more than we respect the time of others. I think of civil as being personal rather than more corporate, criminal, or demanding. How many times have we said or heard someone say, “let’s all be civil and discuss this issue.”

My prayer is that civility is just the starting point for how we interact with each other.

Dear Lord, when the best that we can manage is civility, Help us to respond with polite and respectful words and actions in times of stress.

Dear Lord, when the best that we can manage is civility, Help us to understand all the viewpoints and be reasonable when we want to be difficult.

Dear Lord, when the best that we can manage is civility, Help us to act in your ways of truth and kindness and not those of retribution and anger.

Dear Lord, when the best that we can manage is civility, Soften our hearts so that we act with love, compassion, respect and sharing of your grace. Amen.

By Jackie Meeks

Episcopal Church Women2020-05-20T13:40:07+00:00December 8th, 2015|

Gratitude

In our present day world, gratitude can create an environment where negative events such as violence can become minimized and don’t have the same negative effects. It can help bring about a spiral of positive interactions. According to meditative therapists, gratitude can increase positive emotions, reduce the risk of depression, heighten relationship satisfaction, and increase resilience in the face of stressful life events.

“Then the Lord knows how to rescue the godly from trials, and to keep the unrighteous for punishment until the day of judgement.” (2 Peter 2:9)

Robert Emmons, a leading scientific expert on gratitude, argues that intentionally developing a grateful outlook helps us recognize good things in our lives and realize that many of these good things are “gifts” that we have been fortunate to receive. After many trials and tribulations, using gratitude can begin to help change the emotional tone in our lives. When given the time to reflect, hopefully the words of gratitude can help fill our hearts.

“I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.” (Philippians 4:13)

By Gloria Rogers

Episcopal Church Women2020-05-20T13:43:45+00:00December 7th, 2015|

Faith

Among the many stories Lindsay Hardin Freeman shares in her book, “Bible Women: All Their Words and Why They Matter,” is the one about Susanna. Susanna’s story, writes Rev. Freeman, “is cited by many as the very first detective story in Western literature.” It is also, at its core, a story about faith.

Remember Susanna? Beautiful, virtuous, lusted after by male elders who threaten her if she doesn’t succumb to their sexual desires. Her story was so meaningful to earlier generations of Christian believers that it was told via murals on the walls of Roman catacombs. It resonates to this day because emotional, psychological, and physical abuse continue to this day.

All of us, most especially those suffering from gender-based violence as well as those seeking to help them, would do well to remember the example set by Susanna who chose to remain faithful to God’s law as well as her own sense of right and wrong. Again, Rev. Freeman: “Susanna gives contemporary women an important lesson: speak up, loudly, when put in a difficult situation, especially a sexual one. Stand your ground. Scream if need be. And trust in a world that God is creating anew, where women’s voices will be heard – and heeded.”

Prayer:

Almighty God, you have promised to hear the petitions of those who ask in your Son’s Name: We beseech you mercifully to incline your ear to us who have now made our prayers and supplications unto you; and grant that those things which we have faithfully asked according to your will, may effectually be obtained, to the relief of our necessity, and to the setting forth of your glory; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

Keep the faith.

By Lisa Towle

Episcopal Church Women2020-05-20T13:49:10+00:00December 6th, 2015|

Appreciation

“For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son…” John 3:16. This Bible passage was offered by National ECW Board member Mary Beth Welch in response to her assigned word, “appreciation.”

What a magnificent gift! The sacrifice made by our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, is one incomprehensible for many of us to imagine. On a day-to-day basis what do we do to show our appreciation for this wonderful gift?

For those struggling with the vestiges of gender violence, showing appreciation for anything may be difficult at best. It’s hard to imagine waking up each morning, having been victimized by others, and thinking, “How and for what should I show my appreciation?” Regardless of the circumstances in which we find ourselves, it does us all well to take a few moments each day to notice the things for which we can show appreciation. Additionally, if nothing else, we can show appreciation for the fact that those who have been victims of gender violence don’t have to suffer alone and in silence. They can and should reach out to others who are willing and ready to help. Likewise, those who are perpetrators of gender violence are not alone. They, too, can and must seek help to correct the unacceptable behavior and work to right the wrongs of the past and to live good and productive lives.

Yes, God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him may not perish but may have eternal life. My sisters and brothers, that is certainly something for which we may and should show our appreciation.

By Beblon Parks

Episcopal Church Women2020-05-20T13:50:59+00:00December 5th, 2015|

Compassion

Merciful God, look with compassion upon the perpetrators within the family of violence upon women, girls and boys. Heal and restore relationships where hurt and harm has been borne in silence and despair. Bring forth a new day whereby strong and renewed family relationships become the building blocks and harbinger of a new world – where reigns worldwide your goodness, justice and peace. Amen.

By Ginger Lief

Episcopal Church Women2020-05-20T14:02:21+00:00December 4th, 2015|

Resilience

RE – SIL – IENCE: “The capacity to recover quickly from difficulties.”

How do we get the ability to rise above difficulties? Is it our environment or genetics? How can we improve our “toughness” in bad situations?

“Take care of yourself. Keep things in perspective. Develop confidence in your ability to solve problems. Trust your instincts. Take decisive actions. Develop realistic goals. Accept circumstances that cannot be changed. Change how you interact and respond to events. Assisting others in their time of need can also benefit the helper.” (American Psychological Association)

As each of us move forward in learning resilience, we need to take time to take care of ourselves, learn from our past, listen to the stories of others and how they’ve been affected by other’s actions or words, and take decisive action to move forward in our own lives. Civic groups, faith based organizations or social groups can help you in your journey. Be true to yourself and your journey.

Lord, give me strength and confidence in my ability to handle difficult situations. Give me guidance as to how to proceed for myself and others. Amen.

By Karen Patterson

Episcopal Church Women2020-05-20T14:04:36+00:00December 3rd, 2015|

Access

The word access made me think a lot about so many people who are marginalized in our societies because of inequalities and barriers that still exist between people. I then reflected on the song, “God Has Work For Us To Do” by Carl Daw, music by M. Miller:

“Till all the jails are empty and all the bellies filled; Till no one hurts or steals or lies, and no more blood is spilled; God has work for us to do, God has work for us to do.

“Believe in the promise, ‘I make all things new’ God has work for us, work for us to do.

“Till age and race and gender no longer separate; Till pulpit, press, and politics are free of greed and hate: In tenement and mansion, in factory, farm, and mill In board room and in billiard hall, in wards where time stands still, In classroom, church, and office, in shops or on the street; In every place where people thrive or starve or hide or meet: By sitting at a bedside to hold pale, trembling hands, By speaking for the powerless against unjust demands, By praying through our doing and singing through our fear, By trusting that the seed we sow will bring God’s harvest near. God has work—work for us to do.”

Reflection: When Jesus sacrificed His life for us, one of the greatest things He accomplished was giving us complete and total access to our heavenly Father. Peace is not possible where there are serious social and economic dividing walls that limit access to basic needs that people have.

Prayer:

Dear Lord, it is your will that we be gathered together as one family in your name. Please fill my heart and that of mankind with the fire of your love and with the desire to pursue justice for all. That I may share all the good things you daily give me with those who have been bruised by injustice. In this way to help them access new opportunities in life.

I hope and pray that we will continue to make all efforts to contribute to a truly human society that is built on love and peace. Amen.

By Juditta Ellis

Episcopal Church Women2020-05-20T14:06:46+00:00December 2nd, 2015|