I recently attended my parish women’s retreat. I led Saturday meditations, guiding the women to BE in the Spirit and not just DO ministry. The women were divided into small groups of four and asked to share with each other, easily and non-threatening at first, deeper and deeper as we progressed through the day. It was all quite congenial and I was pleased to see everyone participating as both sharers and listeners. A deacon’s ministry is to stir things up, to raise awareness of the needs of the world, and to prod people to do the work God calls us to do. And so, deviating from the theme to Be, I, the deacon, asked the women to look at a time and talent assessment form and share how they might expand themselves in ministry at our church. After the women reconvened from their small groups, the youngest woman at the retreat, in her mid-thirties, said quite honestly that she found this exercise disturbing. Family, work, long commute, and volunteer ministries for which she was already committed were taking a toll on her. To ask for more, just a little more, was too much. It took me back to the time when I had all those aspects in my life, too. I was approached to become active with my church’s ECW and I burst into tears. I had to say no. And it was so hard. We women hate to disappoint. Here we were, on a spiritual retreat, and for a few moments the multiple needs of others forced its way into our being. Some women talked about how they struggle to keep balance in their lives and others talked how they have accomplished that balance. Loving support was given to those who are just now learning how to say no when no is the necessary response. The moments passed and we returned to talking and sharing how we can Be ourselves and Be present with God, no matter what or what not we are able to Do.
As I prepared to write about the Women at the Tomb, I was surprised at one of Lindsay’s reflection questions: “Many women are responsible for seeing tasks through in their faith communities and have reached a certain level of fatigue because of it. How do you keep your spiritual life balanced while attending to the many details of your personal and/or professional life?” When I think of the women at the tomb, I don’t think first of fatigue. My goodness, these are strong women who keep on keepin’ on. I think of the courage of staying through the crucifixion, the sadness at seeing the young man’s tragic death, the devoutness of going to make final preparations for the body, and the shock of hearing the angel as he stood before the opened tomb. I don’t think of these women’s exhaustion at yet one more ministry to Jesus. Perhaps it was Mary Magdalene, the youngest of the three women, who showed the most exhaustion. Perhaps she told the disciples’ mothers that it was getting to be too much. And perhaps those older women shared with her how they keep balance in their lives, while caring for their sons, while caring for all the disciples, I think, but also while caring for our Lord.
There is another emotion that comes to mind when I think of the women at the tomb, and that is Joy. There is egotistical joy in seeing a task to its end and receiving accolades for sheer doggedness. The greater joy is simply Being in the moment and seeing Jesus here, with us, drawing us near. As Easter approaches we must first spend those final days and hours with Jesus and walk the way of the cross. It is emotionally exhausting. But we know the Happy Ending, and that gives us strength to say Alleluia, and to say yes to all we are called to do.
++++ Coming April 15th ++++
Chapter 27
Mary Magdalene
Content provided by Author Lindsay Hardin Freeman
Illustration: Claire Elam