How one young professional Episcopal mother finds time for a family, her career, and faith.

by Kristen Pratt Machado

I dropped my daughter off at a birthday party an hour early. We live in the South so the host was very gracious and although I felt a bit uneasy, I couldn’t immediately determine the source. The table was set, my 5-year-old daughter, Piper, had already run off with the birthday girl, yet the host was wearing sweat pants (not a big deal in my book, but quite unusual at Southern special events), so I retreated to my car where I looked up the Evite on my phone. The vague uneasiness I had felt a minute ago turned into a feeling of shame that I haven’t felt since I was a teenager. My face was beet red and my pulse raced. What to do? With possibilities for total escape limited (I was bound to see this mother again somewhere), there was nothing to do but face the consequences.

I walked slowly back to the front door and knocked gingerly (somehow hoping she wouldn’t hear me). The kind, sweatpants-wearing host assured me that all was fine and I should never think of it again. After profusely apologizing and offering to bring Piper back an hour later, a gesture that was thankfully refused—I skulked back to my car and drove away as fast as possible.

When I returned home, I told my husband that he would not only be collecting Piper from the princess birthday party, but he was to arrive a minimum of 15 minutes early.

ONE OF “THOSE” MOMS

You might think, “What’s the big deal?” Or, feel confident that you would never make such an error. And I wondered why this relatively benign gaffe caused me so much embarrassment. I realized it’s because I am one of “those” moms. The ones who work full time while trying to keep all of the balls in the air, never missing a beat. Those who stay up until midnight baking smooshed-looking cupcakes for their child’s birthday celebration, and who put way too much time into thinking about what teachers might really appreciate during “teacher appreciation week.” And those who sometimes miss important events or who are noted as “strangers” at school because they neither drop off nor pick up their child. What all of “those” moms realize is that something always has to give.

VERY BLESSED

I am very blessed. I love my work, which I do at home, and I have a fairly flexible schedule. My husband is a true partner and contributes just as much as I do in the childcare and household departments. We can also afford a wonderful nanny who is like family. When I start feeling overwhelmed by the number of items on my to do list, I realize that the precious moments of free time that often get spent perusing gossipy magazines, or trying to get a few extra minutes of sleep, should really be spent on my health—more specifically my spiritual health.

We attend the local Episcopal Church most Sundays and I help in the Godly Play classroom regularly, but it’s the time spent focused on reading the Bible and in prayer and meditation that keeps me centered. I am in a small group Bible study with other mothers from a variety of Christian faiths, from Episcopal to Baptist to Orthodox. All of them are stay-at-home moms, but we all experience the same problem—making the time to spend on devotion and in communion with God. It is the most popular prayer request among us.

I think this is common for all women, regardless of what stage of life we are in because we are the doers. We take care of our families, elderly parents, neighbors, friends in need, and pets. We are the ones to respond to the call for help. I am proud to be part of this longstanding tradition of care taking, but we have to remember that we need time to rejuvenate, as well.

We need time to be with God.

Am I saying that reading People Magazine is not a worthy pastime, or that sneaking in a 15-minute catnap is something to be ashamed of? No, sirree! But just as we schedule our children’s activities, medical appointments, work deadlines, etc, we also need to schedule time for our spiritual endeavors.

I know that I will be embarrassed and overwhelmed many more times in the future, and I will make many more mistakes. In the midst of this crazy journey, I only hope I remember that faith is one area that I shouldn’t short shrift. Time must be made, priorities shifted. This can be a tall order (let me tell you how successful I’ve been in scheduling exercise time, ha!), but I’m praying that I am up for the challenge. †

Kristen Pratt Machado is the executive editor of a monthly clinical journal serving dental hygienists and director of publishing operations for the journal’s parent company, Belmont Publications, Inc. She and her husband, Ché, have two children—5-year-old Piper and 3-year-old Beck—and reside in Winston-Salem, NC. Kristen is a member of St. Timothy’s Episcopal Church where she leads the Meals for Moms (and Dads!) Ministry and volunteers on the Vacation Bible School committee. She is also a member of the Winston Salem Women’s Fund, a community of passionate women creating social change.