Episcopal Church Women

How one young professional Episcopal mother finds time for a family, her career, and faith.

by Kristen Pratt Machado

I dropped my daughter off at a birthday party an hour early. We live in the South so the host was very gracious and although I felt a bit uneasy, I couldn’t immediately determine the source. The table was set, my 5-year-old daughter, Piper, had already run off with the birthday girl, yet the host was wearing sweat pants (not a big deal in my book, but quite unusual at Southern special events), so I retreated to my car where I looked up the Evite on my phone. The vague uneasiness I had felt a minute ago turned into a feeling of shame that I haven’t felt since I was a teenager. My face was beet red and my pulse raced. What to do? With possibilities for total escape limited (I was bound to see this mother again somewhere), there was nothing to do but face the consequences.

I walked slowly back to the front door and knocked gingerly (somehow hoping she wouldn’t hear me). The kind, sweatpants-wearing host assured me that all was fine and I should never think of it again. After profusely apologizing and offering to bring Piper back an hour later, a gesture that was thankfully refused—I skulked back to my car and drove away as fast as possible.

When I returned home, I told my husband that he would not only be collecting Piper from the princess birthday party, but he was to arrive a minimum of 15 minutes early.

ONE OF “THOSE” MOMS

You might think, “What’s the big deal?” Or, feel confident that you would never make such an error. And I wondered why this relatively benign gaffe caused me so much embarrassment. I realized it’s because I am one of “those” moms. The ones who work full time while trying to keep all of the balls in the air, never missing a beat. Those who stay up until midnight baking smooshed-looking cupcakes for their child’s birthday celebration, and who put way too much time into thinking about what teachers might really appreciate during “teacher appreciation week.” And those who sometimes miss important events or who are noted as “strangers” at school because they neither drop off nor pick up their child. What all of “those” moms realize is that something always has to give.

VERY BLESSED

I am very blessed. I love my work, which I do at home, and I have a fairly flexible schedule. My husband is a true partner and contributes just as much as I do in the childcare and household departments. We can also afford a wonderful nanny who is like family. When I start feeling overwhelmed by the number of items on my to do list, I realize that the precious moments of free time that often get spent perusing gossipy magazines, or trying to get a few extra minutes of sleep, should really be spent on my health—more specifically my spiritual health.

We attend the local Episcopal Church most Sundays and I help in the Godly Play classroom regularly, but it’s the time spent focused on reading the Bible and in prayer and meditation that keeps me centered. I am in a small group Bible study with other mothers from a variety of Christian faiths, from Episcopal to Baptist to Orthodox. All of them are stay-at-home moms, but we all experience the same problem—making the time to spend on devotion and in communion with God. It is the most popular prayer request among us.

I think this is common for all women, regardless of what stage of life we are in because we are the doers. We take care of our families, elderly parents, neighbors, friends in need, and pets. We are the ones to respond to the call for help. I am proud to be part of this longstanding tradition of care taking, but we have to remember that we need time to rejuvenate, as well.

We need time to be with God.

Am I saying that reading People Magazine is not a worthy pastime, or that sneaking in a 15-minute catnap is something to be ashamed of? No, sirree! But just as we schedule our children’s activities, medical appointments, work deadlines, etc, we also need to schedule time for our spiritual endeavors.

I know that I will be embarrassed and overwhelmed many more times in the future, and I will make many more mistakes. In the midst of this crazy journey, I only hope I remember that faith is one area that I shouldn’t short shrift. Time must be made, priorities shifted. This can be a tall order (let me tell you how successful I’ve been in scheduling exercise time, ha!), but I’m praying that I am up for the challenge. †

Kristen Pratt Machado is the executive editor of a monthly clinical journal serving dental hygienists and director of publishing operations for the journal’s parent company, Belmont Publications, Inc. She and her husband, Ché, have two children—5-year-old Piper and 3-year-old Beck—and reside in Winston-Salem, NC. Kristen is a member of St. Timothy’s Episcopal Church where she leads the Meals for Moms (and Dads!) Ministry and volunteers on the Vacation Bible School committee. She is also a member of the Winston Salem Women’s Fund, a community of passionate women creating social change.

Of all the places in the world, why travel to Israel?

By Michelle Johnston

This seemed to be the question a friend was asking me when, before my trip, he asked, “what are your expectations for this trip?” Did I have expectations? I thought for a minute and said, “I don’t have any expectations. I want to be open to whatever happens.” When I thought about it more, deep down I was hoping to have some type of transformative spiritual experience. According to scripture, this is where my God walked the earth – how could I physically inhabit the same places that God physically inhabited and NOT be transformed?

AN OPEN HEART AND AN OPEN MIND

When I left California on my pilgrimage, I felt I was going with an open heart, an open mind, and a fairly good understanding of the political and religious tensions in that area. After all, I come from a progressive Episcopal parish, All Saints Pasadena; we have a Middle East Ministry and I have been involved with our Peace & Justice work. I soon learned that I did not know as much as I thought. And now, reflecting on my experience, even my trip preparation was an indication of what I consider to be my unconscious beliefs about Israel and the Middle East. It never occurred to me to spiritually prepare for my trip by looking at a Palestinian or Muslim point of view. Jews and Christians are not the only ones who consider the Holy Land holy – it’s holy for Muslims as well.

Our guide, Iyad Qumri, was amazing! As an Arab, a Palestinian, and a Christian who was born in Jerusalem and lived there all his life, he brought a very unique perspective to the holy places, the people, and the political/religious situation in the region. He knows the region and the Bible inside and out, allowing him to connect each of the holy sites we visited to the actual scriptural passages that speak about those sites and the events that took place there. This allowed us to connect to each place on a much deeper spiritual level.

Guiding pilgrims in the Holy Land and helping them to see through the eyes of the Jews, the Christians AND the Muslims is Iyad’s ministry. And because this is his ministry, he has forged relationships that enable him to provide experiences that are unique to most pilgrims. One of these once-in-a-lifetime experiences was at Church of the Nativity in Bethlehem. The church is built over the site that is traditionally considered to be the cave that marks the birthplace of Jesus.

Iyad arranged for our small group of 12 to participate in an Italian Eucharist – in the cave – with the priest and nuns! So many people funnel through this small cave that they are usually only allowed time to briefly touch the star that marks the birth spot and are then ushered along to make way for the next person in line.

How special that we not only got an extended time in the cave, but we also got to celebrate Eucharist. In fact, I was SO moved, that tears streamed down my face through most of service. At one point, even the priest shed tears – that’s how moving the experience was. To experience a Holy Sacrament in such a holy place was truly a spiritual and transformational experience.

A TRANSFORMING EXPERIENCE

Reciting The Beatitudes from the very cave where it is said that Jesus did the same when he gave The Sermon on the Mount was another transforming experience as were renewing baptismal vows at the Jordan River and taking a boat ride on The Sea of Galilee – the same sea where the disciples fished and Jesus walked on water. Wow! Place after place, I kept thinking, “I can’t believe I’m standing here, touching this, seeing this…” Books, documentaries, and other people’s stories are no substitution for experiencing these places firsthand. And now to what broke my heart. I will be the first to admit that I am not an expert on the Israeli/Palestinian conflict, but I thought I knew the basics on both sides. However, being there in person allowed me to see firsthand how this conflict is impacting everyday people.

STANDING NEXT TO THE WALL

I stood right next to a 30-foot high concrete wall and heard how it goes through a Palestinian neighborhood and separates Palestinian families. In the paraphrased words of the Jewish speaker who shared with us the Jewish perspective of the political situation, “while Israel has a right to protect its borders, the problem is in the implementation.” Standing next to the wall brought up feelings of sadness and injustice. I learned that you could tell a Palestinian house from a Jewish house by the large black container on top of the house. This container is for collecting rainwater and Palestinian houses each need one because the Israeli government denies them running water five days per week. I put myself in their shoes and it brought tears to my eyes; the inhumanity of it made me sad and angry.

In the US, our media gives us a biased view of the Middle East. For example, when the events of 9/11 took place, our media showed us news stories of Palestinians cheering; they did not show us that there were also Palestinians holding candlelight vigils in solidarity with us. Like many, I unconsciously took in this information as unbiased news and formed beliefs I didn’t even know I had. Jews and Palestinians should not be defined by their extremists. Muslims and Christians should not be defined by their extremists.

Muslim, Jews, and Christians have followers who want to do violence in the name of their God, but these people are the minority and should not be taken to represent the entire group.

As Christians, Jesus is the incarnation of our God, but we don’t always follow his example. If we did, we would love the Palestinian as much as we love the Jew.

We would advocate for the rights of Palestinians as much as we advocate for the rights of Jews. I am not advocating hatred of Jew in favor of Palestinian; I am advocating love and compassion towards both. I also want to be clear that it is the Israeli government oppressing the Palestinian people, not the Jewish people as a whole.

“There are no easy answers to the complicated situation in the Middle East, but I think there are answers and there is hope.”

STOP TAKING SIDES

I am advocating that we start following Jesus and stop taking sides. I am advocating that we treat all humans with dignity and stop supporting the building of settlements and walls and stop the denial of water. And, although I am not a Bible literalist, I am advocating that you take Matthew 22:39 literally and love your neighbor as yourself.

There are no easy answers to the complicated situation in the Middle East, but I think there are answers and there is hope. There are good people on all sides who are working for peace in the region in many different and important ways. And in my opinion and their opinions, a solution begins with human dignity.

You should travel to The Holy Land and experience it for yourself – it’s perfectly safe and it’s an experience you will never forget. You may not come back changed in the way I was, but you will come back changed.†

Photos courtesy of Nancy R. Crawford and Michelle Johnston. (see pdf version)

Michelle Johnston is a member of All Saints Episcopal Church in Pasadena, CA.

By The Reverend Deacon Nancy R. Crawford

In the last years of my mother’s life, whenever I visited her we also visited her attic. There, we found items that had been precious in her life, but which no longer fit into the living parts of her home. She hoped that these precious items would find new purpose, and new life, in my home or in my children’s homes. Quite often, because the items had been left in the attic for years and years, they had accumulated dust. Some things I dusted off and took home with me, and other things were left for another time.

REVISITING OLD, BELOVED ITEMS

Over the past several months, members of the Episcopal Church have been revisiting old, beloved items of women’s ministry, dusting them off, and giving them new life. How many of us have heard once again and been inspired by the story of the Emery sisters of Boston? These five sisters of a 19th Century Episcopal family were devoted to mission and ministry in the church. Julia Emery gave 40 years of her life as secretary of the Women’s Auxiliary, the precursor to Episcopal Church Women. Margaret Emery was instrumental in the creation of the Box Work, later to be known as United Thank Offering. Because of the recent attention that has been given to the UTO Board, its makeup and its granting process, my blue box is more predominant on my desk as it becomes heavier and heavier with coins.

Not only has the dust been stirred up with the United Thank Offering, so has the dust on my little blue box. Have you, too, become more intentional about the coins that are put in UTO blue boxes? I, for one, was not the most devout when it came to putting coins, along with thanks and prayer, in my UTO box. I generally remembered when my coin purse became too heavy, or as the time of the parish ingathering drew near. Now, if I don’t have a coin each day to put in the box, I simply touch it and give thanks. I give thanks for the women, past and present, who have volunteered their time and talents to see that in gatherings take place in churches, and that boxes are visible at church-wide events.

I give thanks for the women, past and present, who have volunteered their time and talents to serve as diocesan UTO coordinators, and who meet with their bishops to discuss grant applications. I give thanks for the women, past and present, who have served as province representatives and members-at-large to the UTO Board. Those serving now have swept away the dust and are back at work, making sure that funds are collected and then granted to mission and ministry projects around the Anglican Community.

STIRRED UP THE DUST

The Episcopal Church Women, too, have stirred up the dust on some old, beloved items of our organization. At the last Triennial Meeting, the delegates passed Resolution 101/104 which resolved “that an ad hoc committee be established by the 2012-15 Episcopal Church Women (ECW) Board to study, research, and review the present function and structure of the ECW Board, and the mission and purpose of the ECW.” The ad hoc committee has been established with a woman from each of our nine provinces, women who are intergenerational representatives from various Episcopal Women’s Ministries, as specified in the resolution. A consultant from Crystal Brook Consulting, Donna Lynn Johnson, an Episcopalian from the Atlanta, GA area, has been hired to work with the ad hoc committee and to provide professional services and oversight in the execution of the resolution.

What will they find in the attic of ECW? What will find new purpose, new life in the ministry and mission of ECW? And what will be left in the attic to be brought out at another time? We pray for the Holy Spirit’s guidance with those who take counsel for the renewal and mission of ECW.

We “Stir up the Spirit”—and the Spirit decides to stir up the dust on our venerable women’s ministries.

Let us keep our hearts and minds open to hear what the Spirit is saying to us. Amen.†

The Reverend Deacon Nancy R. Crawford, Eugene, OR, was president of the 2012-2015 National ECW Board.