These women who speak in the Bible are survivors, I think. Their prospects are limited because they are women of their times, of any times really, yet they use various methods to help them meet the challenges before them. The five Daughters of Zelophehad, posted January 2nd, were determined to keep their family land after their father died. It was a problem to solve and they went before the authorities to ask for what they believed was rightfully theirs. These were resourceful women, reminding me of the young women of my parish who use the resources of education to graduate from college and eventually become successful, professional women in the areas of law, finance, education, and the arts. And then there was Jael, posted January 15th. She had a problem to solve, and rather than going to the authorities, she took matters into her own hands, killing General Sisera with a tent peg to the temple. She reminds me of women I read about in the tabloids; not an ideal way to stay out of trouble, but effective for eliminating the problem at hand.
What about you, Abigail? You’re a survivor and you are resourceful. Do you love your husband, Nabal, for all his faults and protect him from his own folly? Are you the real strength in the family, the one the servants respect and trust with difficult situations? You had the fortitude to gather up provisions for David and his men and negotiate a peace. Are you in reality the head of the household? Perhaps you do survive with your diplomatic skills and gift of prophecy. Or do you survive by staying one step ahead of your alcoholic, quick-tempered husband? Are you trying to solve problems behind your husband’s back, in hopes that he will not learn that there ever was a problem?
No woman, or man, can say it is easy to be married to a drunk. Especially when there are children in the house, there is a great deal of caution taken in every word, every action. In the story of Nabal, he lost his temper over the polite request for food from David’s men. Hospitality was an essential part of the culture, but Nabal refused to be hospitable. Did Nabal lose his temper when the children requested more food? When the children fussed or played too rambunctiously? Did he lose his temper when the servants dropped a plate in the kitchen or failed to harvest all the grain before the rains came? To be the spouse of an unpredictable drunk is no easy task, and many women hone their skills of survival by indirect methods. “What if I do this? Will he ever find out? Will it make him happy for a time?” A woman contemplates various scenarios and anticipates outcomes. She chooses one. Abigail chose to go behind Nabal’s back, not telling him what she had done until he was in a sober frame of mind.
Reading about the women who speak in the Bible is like reading about women I have encountered in my ministry. Because I am a deacon in the church, I meet women outside the parish who are living in unhealthy relationships and, once free of one abusive man, immediately move on to the next one. God struck Nabal dead and if Abigail had remembered the story of the five daughters, she might have realized that God was on her side, that God could have helped her become the head of the household and gain some independence. Instead she immediately accepted the marriage proposal of David. Abigail is not mentioned again in the Scriptures without the litany of David’s other wives: Ahinoam, Michal, Maacah, Haggith, Abital, Eglah, and Bathsheba. This problem-solving survivor married a man who saw his wife Michal given away to another man, who had the husband of Bathsheba killed so he, David, could marry her, and who fathered children with all his wives, as well as with unnamed slave women.
What do you think of Abigail? Do you find her to be a strong woman with great diplomatic skills who finds a place of stature in David’s royal palace, perhaps successfully running that household, too? Or do you find her to be a bit of a mouse, running on a treadmill to nowhere and doing whatever she has to do so not to fall off? Who is this woman who learned to survive? Who do you want her to be?
++++ Coming February 15 ++++
Chapter 12 – Huldah
Content provided by Author Lindsay Hardin Freeman
Illustration: Claire Elam